Oct 202012

(WARNING: This page has poorly drawn nude images of men and women on it.  If that squigs you out, don’t scroll down.  BUT, also be warned.  Its sort of funny, so you might be missing out if you skip it.)

The Book.
So, let’s say that you run a school whose main purpose is to teach students from a variety of backgrounds and language origins.  And, let’s say you want to create a science curriculum that can be accessible to all the students with all their different backgrounds.  What will you do?  Well, one approach might be to create a science book with tons of pictures and (almost) no words.  Not bad in theory, I suppose.  Only, they decided to make it… well.  Like this:

Page One:

Right off the bat you know you are in for something special.  Picture A shows a white mouse, a black mouse and some small grey mice.  Ok.  Maybe it is talking genetics?  Families?  The next picture is fine, too.  Seed grows into tree.  Yeah, that seems sciency…. Only, wait.  This is a science book meant for 15-16 year olds.  This may be a little simplistic.  But, we are just getting started.  What else do we have?  Picture C… um, the mouse hears music, sees a baby mouse and smells cheese.  OK.  Picture D… The bird made of dots gently lifts a caterpillar so it can nibble on a leaf.  Eric Carle would approve.  And, in E, our dot-bird breathes.  Fair enough.  Now, moving away from the pointillism inspired crow,  in F we find… What the?!  Is that a rabbit?  A person?  An…. OMG.  I don’t even know.  But, that fluffy cloud dog is peeing on the sunrise.  I am scared.  I am very afraid.

Soon, we have lost all cohesion and any attempt at understanding becomes an act of creativity.  This page seems to tell us that alcohol and music cause minivans to bleed.  Also, that Operation Game Clown is swearing comic book exclamations from every major organ while filling out a chart with way way way too many martinis on it.

Apparently from the emojis at the bottom-
some people keep drinking well past the time when they are dead.

I think this page has something to do with the structure of the respiratory system.

Any guess what the bronze lung knobs are for?
Wanna do the bronchi-geometry problem in the second panel?

Then there is this guy.

By now I am getting the idea that the artist here
was trying really hard to get the gig
to make international traffic signs.

Ok, I get that the theme on this page is water.  But, I don’t think I can take it further…. Anyone?

First off, notice the lady taking a shower above is fully formed, but the guy that that baby below grows into is… not.  Plus-
Holy crap.  The hand is dripping blood right off the page! What is with this book and bleeding?
Also, in regards to the green troll being on the middle of the page- have you *ever* seen asexual reproduction rendered so… sexually?

At least the baby is upside down.  Keeps it from
seeing too much of the blood beneath it.

This, by the way, is how they cover sexual reproduction.

When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, they hum really loud and
think about each other.
Then, insert tab a into slot a and um
iiiiiiii!  AAOOH!
(I just learned that men speak in caps and women in lower case.
Also, all adults have clown mouths-
and women, apparently, don’t grow hair on their arms or legs-
which renders the multi-billion dollar depilatory industry moot.)

Somewhere in Belgium a group of adults sat in a conference room and decided *this* would be the best approach to their science curriculum.  These are some of those people:

These are the people responsible for this
(4-5 means 4th and 5th grade of Secondary school)

  2 Responses to “European School Science Supplemental”

  1. Haha, thanks for sharing. Of course the women have armpit hair. You’re in France, after all. 😉

  2. […] to support the European Parliament, which is headquartered in Belgium.  Belgium is also where that wonderfully awful science book was designed.  There are tests in any number of languages.  But, I am not convinced that they are […]

Leave a Reply